I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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