just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
