Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
