I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
