My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
