we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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