I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
