Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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