Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
