no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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