I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
one two three fourrrrnication!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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