watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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