I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
