Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You need Xanax blowdarts
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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