Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
