We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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