singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
