I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
