you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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