I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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