you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
