i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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