drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
