Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He keeps bees of course he's weird
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
