i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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