If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
