Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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