Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
