Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just cropdusted the office
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
