Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
either way he was missing a nipple.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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