Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
