Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
