the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
