eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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