And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
