Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
