Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
