Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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