Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
