So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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