Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
