Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she pinky promised me she was 18
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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