I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
