Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
