Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I deserve this hangover.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
