I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
