I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
