i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
