That's intense
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
