you guys were way drunker than both of me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
