turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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