do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
