i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
