Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
