i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
MIDGETS
????
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
