Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
