I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
