His pubic hair was longer than his dick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
