I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
