Where is the hickey?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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