Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
