at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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