so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
