More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
