.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
