Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
