And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
