I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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